Trouble.

That's right friends. The title of this post is Trouble. (Note the capital T, it rhymes with P, which stands for pool, which is not actually my trouble. Anyway.) I've chosen that title because it is once again a really terrible hour of the night and I am writing in my blog because I can't sleep due to some trouble. And like all other troubles, the source of this trouble can be traced to sin of some kind. And that sin is (not surprisingly to those of you who have read other posts) jealousy and anger.
What is it about me that can't just live my own life and let other people live theirs? It gets to the point where I get so ticked off and envious about little stuff that I feel sick and lose sleep. One person, or event, or situation is so bothersome to me that I turn it over a million times in my brain until it consumes me and I end up walking around in a moody depressive funk. Why can't I just say, "Oh, it doesn't matter, let them do what makes them happy," and leave it at that? But no, I have to take offense because of my fragile self-confidence and hold grudges. 
So I'm stuck here worried to death about this next week. You know what's so ironic about that? I'm going to Summer Training for OAFC. The entire purpose of my week should be to witness to others about Christ and to worship him. Yet I'm laying here worrying about how I'll deal with certain people, and whether or not I'll have a good time, and how hot the weather will be, and how I'll deal with certain people (that one is recurring). 

"Call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you will honor me." Psalm 50:15
My mom asked me today if I had prayed about the situation. I realised that I hadn't. Sometimes I feel bad about talking to God when I'm having trouble. It feels like whining. But that's what he tells us to do. Unfortunately, sometimes I also just forget to call on God when I'm having trouble. Fortunately though, God doesn't just "cook to order". He says in Isaiah 65:24, "Before they call I will answer; while they are still speaking I will hear."
What a relief. God isn't as forgetful as we humans are. Even when we fail to remember to call on him, he doesn't neglect to take care of us. He answers the prayers that we don't even say, and hears the ones that we do. Not to be overly casual, but the only word I can apply to that fact is "awesome". It truly deserves awe.