30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Eight

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." (Romans 8:26)

Last night, for the third time this week, I was awake into the wee hours of the morning. I wish I could tell you that I was reading an exciting book or fully absorbed in a craft project, but I can't. I was just hurting. I was filled with the hurting and restlessness that often makes me lose sleep, and the worst part about these feelings is that I have absolutely no idea how to satisfy them. Many times in those terrifying and exhausting nights I lay aching from the fact that I cannot see a solution. Some things just have to hurt. Sometimes I cannot see around the bend. All I can do is pray.

But when I don't know what I want, how can I pray? It's hard to ask for relief when you have nothing to ask for besides relief. I want to tell God my troubles and ask for what I want, but I don't know what I want and some of my troubles are too deep for words. For these very reasons, the verse I've put up today is one of my very favorite verses in the Bible. It reminds us that God knows us inside and out. He sees every corner of our hearts, even the ones we hide from everyone else, and even the ones we try to hide from Him. So even when I couldn't possibly begin to explain the hurt to anyone else, I don't need to explain it to God.

I remember watching Anne of Green Gables as a child, and laughing when Anne prays for the first time. Anne explains to Marilla that she has never prayed, and she always imagined that if she were going to, she would stand out in a vast field and "just feel a prayer". Marilla, in her best no-nonsense voice, informs Anne that she must say a bedtime prayer, and in response Anne speaks a prayer that sounds very much like a business letter. For all the good intentions of Marilla, I think Anne had a point. Sometimes we don't need to say it all out loud. It is okay to feel a prayer, and sometimes it is necessary. The God of our salvation, who knows our heart and loves us immeasurably, hears even the requests we cannot find the words for. He delights in our conversations, even if they don't seem much like conversations to us.

Remember that God hears the prayers we do not even speak, and works for our good even when we can't imagine what good can be done.

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Seven

"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us." (1 John 4:10-12)

What is love? There are 2.5 pages of my Bible's concordance that tell me what God says it is. I've read so many of these passages, from the famous (1 Corinthians 13, anyone?) to the less known. Even this passage is less often talked about than the verse just a few lines away, "There is no fear in love" (1J4:18). I have often turned to the Bible, desperately seeking advice on how to love. Because believe me, I'm no expert, and if you don't believe me you can ask the last three hearts that I've let down with my broken human version of love. 

Why is it so hard to get it right? We're Christians! We should have this down! If God is love, and we follow God, then we should be good at love...right? 
Wrong. For several reasons.

First, contrary to popular belief, being Christians doesn't mean we don't sin. It just means we know what is a sin, and we ask for forgiveness and receive God's grace. Second, we live in a world that has so many twisted ideas about love and relationships, and those ideas have saturated our lives so completely that it's painfully difficult to separate ourselves from them. The third and possibly the most damaging reason is that even our well-meaning Christian friends and leaders sometimes contribute to some pretty messed-up ideas about what love really is. 

This morning I re-read an article I had posted a long time ago from a blogger named Hannah. The article, called My husband is not my soulmate, has a line that hit me like a ton of bricks: "God’s plan is for us to be made more holy, more like Christ… not marry a certain person." (I'd encourage you to read it all if you have time.) 
Well that's different. How many times have you heard the well-meant encouragement that the right person is waiting, being prepared by God and set aside just for you? Frankly, that's not what God has promised. Would our Heavenly Father willfully allow so much pain in our lives if he was strictly planning every step of the way? No my friends. His will is always for our good, but God is not a dictator, and He gives us our own choices in our daily lives. We don't always make the right choices - such is the product of sin. Nevertheless, we choose our path, with the struggles of sin and the grace of God. As my fellow blogger said, God's plan is to give us salvation and love, and bring us closer to Him. He blesses us in so many ways, but they are not set in stone. You are not destined to have a certain job, live in a certain place, have a certain pet, or even marry a certain person. You are called to live in God's Word and bring His love to others. To say that things did or did not work out with someone because it "was[n't] meant to be" is our own determination, not God's, because all that really matters between two people is that they love each other with a love that imitates God's love for us. When we love like that, God's plan is made complete. Not the other way around.

Love is important. The Bible wouldn't talk about it so much if that wasn't true. Love also isn't easy, but it is worth it, and it is God's will for us to be loved (not always in romance, by the way). He showed us His ultimate love through the sacrifice of Christ for our salvation, from which we model our love to each other. He shows us His love daily through the people in our lives, and we likewise show His love to those around us. It keeps our faith strong and vibrant. Go forth dear friends, and let God's love show through you.

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Six

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." (Colossians 3:12-14)

I think all of us, at some time, have heard a well-meaning loved one tell us that we need to toughen up and look out for ourselves or we're going to get hurt. It's a concept that runs deep in our world today. An eye for an eye. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. All that glitters isn't gold. In this get-ahead culture, we feel as though we need a thick skin to survive. Forgiveness is hard to come by. And this attitude doesn't just dictate how we deal with the people "out there". It creeps into our closest relationships. Half of the love advice I've heard urges me to only give so many chances, and try not to let anyone get too close. You never know who you can really trust. In all honesty, it's true. The world is twisted by sin, and we humans are experts at hitting each other where it hurts. 

Given the events of the past couple months, it is more tempting than ever for me to buy into this bitterness. I am a passionately emotional person. My natural tendency is to show compassion and kindness. I love deeply and trust without question. When people take advantage of that it hurts, but I usually recover quickly. Then recently, for the first time in my life, one of the people closest to my heart exhibited astounding callousness. Recovery has been slow, and agonizing. Sometimes it seems like becoming cold and remote is the only way I'll survive, but then I realize that behavior is what hurt me in the first place. They bought into the idea that being distant is the smart thing to do, and people need to be a certain way to earn your love. This is not God's way. God tells us to be humble. He tells us to be patient with each other. He fills our stores with His own love when we feel like we have no more to give. Most importantly, God tells us to forgive as we have been forgiven. Think of all the times you have failed God. Think of the grace and salvation that is still limitlessly given to you. No matter how much grace I show to others, it will never amount to the grace I've been shown by my Heavenly Father.

Let God's forgiveness and love be an example in your own life. Don't let your pain become your sword and armour, let it become your witness.   

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Five

"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy." (1 Peter 2:9-10)

Today I had a discussion about the fact that we, as a society, seem to be obsessed with labels. We have words now for every walk of life, physical condition, interest group, etc. Now is not the time for me to really get into how I feel about this labeling obsession, but when today's discussion turned to why we feel the need to categorize every condition, my take was this: "I think everyone wants to feel like they belong somewhere."

There isn't much that makes me stand out. I'm a pretty average young girl, studying for a pretty unremarkable Master's degree, and I'll soon be working a fairly normal job. I don't get out with friends much ever. I don't have great talents or incredible passions. I don't want to change the world. Sometimes I feel a little lost, or maybe even invisible. But no matter what, God sees me. I'm still a part of His chosen people. He knows my name and hears my prayers. In a world that expects me to make my mark, I am already marked for salvation. I am a witness to the grace and love of God with my own actions. I don't need to be surrounded by people just like me, or find some way to identify myself. I am complex, and I don't fit into a category like the world expects me to, because this place isn't where my story ends. I am here, and there are times I feel like I belong here, but this is not my home. Someday I will be with my Savior, and I'll know what it's like to never feel the restlessness of searching for my place.

Whenever you feel out of place, remember that you always belong in God's arms. 

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Four

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed." (James 5:13)

Once, about 5 years ago, I had the opportunity (something rare in the Lutheran church) for private confession and absolution. The pastor at the church I was visiting left time before his Saturday evening service for people to come into the sanctuary alone, confess any sins on their hearts, and receive absolution. It was one of the most moving things I have experienced. Confessing sins is powerful. Somehow it's entirely different from just telling someone about something bad you've done. Plenty of times I've had long conversations with friends and talked about my mistakes. Don't get me wrong, it feels great. But there's something even deeper about going to a fellow believer (particularly a pastor, but even a faithful friend is effective) and asking them to hear your confession. It's powerful to label that deed that's been heavy on your heart as sin and speak it to someone.

As someone who has studied psychology, I am a strong believer in the healing power of speaking out loud about the guilt that bothers you. God, though James, has said that the way for us to heal is to be open with each other and pray. If something is weighing on your heart, ask a friend that you trust to hear you out. [If we are personally acquainted, ask me to talk on Skype or meet you for coffee. I am always willing to listen.] And when you've aired it all out, pray. Lately my prayer life has been less than it should be. More than that, I have always struggled with praying out loud with people. It makes me uncomfortable. But I'd like that to change. As James points out, I need that to change. I don't have the space here to talk about the importance of prayer, but to put it briefly: It's important. And praying with and for the people in our lives is one of the most powerful ways we can experience the love of God. 

As I'm urging myself, I also urge you: Pray with people more. See how it lightens your heart. 

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Three

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." (Philippians 2:3-4)

Unless you live in a world free of blogs and other social media (and if you do, how are you reading this?), I'm sure you've seen those feel-good articles made attractive with vintage-y looking photos of cool looking people and a title that goes something like, "24 Reasons You're Awesome, and You Don't Need Anybody's Approval". I've read several. They all sound pretty similar. And almost all of them make me cringe, because A) I have a psychology degree and B) I'm a Christian. 

I know, it's a tough world, and we need whatever encouragement we can get. When we're struggling with our own pain and fear and brokenness, it feels good to have the computer screen tell us that it's okay to do whatever we need to to be happy. But here's what gets me: We often decide that it's more important for us to be encouraged than for us to encourage others. Insensitivity has become a virtue. We strive to be blissfully ignorant of the thoughts and feelings of others, and value independence above all else. We are so wrapped up in pursuing our own goals and protecting our fragile self-esteem that we crash through life like the proverbial bull in an emotional china shop. Relieved to be rid of such weaknesses, we sacrifice courtesy, compassion, and humanity on the altar of happiness. It has become our idol.

But wait, doesn't God want us to be happy? Of course! It's His greatest wish for His beloved children. But He's wise enough to know that when we invest in the happiness of others, we gain a happiness that is so much deeper than we ever dreamed of. I think we'd all agree that it doesn't feel good to hurt someone else, but we've bought the lie that it's the price we must pay if we want to be the best we can be. Dear friends, this is not true. It's what Satan has told us to keep us busy sabotaging each other. 

God's way can be frustrating, because not everyone is on board. But nevertheless, strive to find happiness through humility and sacrifice. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. 

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Two

Today I have two long-ish passages to share from Revelation:

"Then one of the elders asked me, "These in white robes - who are they, and where did they come from?" I answered, "Sir, you know." And he said , "These are they who have come out of the great tribulation; they have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb. Therefore they are before the throne of God and serve Him day and night in His temple; and He who sits on the throne will spread His tent over them. Never again will they hunger; never again will they thirst. The sun will not beat upon them, nor any scorching heat. For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; He will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes."(Revelation: 7:13-17)

Later in the book:

"Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the great street of the city. One each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and His servants will serve Him. They will see His face, and His name will be on their foreheads. There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light And they will reign for ever and ever."(Revelation 22:1-5)

Those passages are long, and I have little to add to them, but I wanted to share them in light of what I wrote about yesterday. If you remember (or look back) I said that tears are a natural part of our lives here on earth, but that better things are coming. The better things are described in these passages, with such beauty that it makes me ache with longing. This is what we have to look forward to. 

Have you ever cried tears of joy? It's a remarkable feeling when our hearts are so overcome with bliss that it spills out in tears (very much the opposite of what I described yesterday). When I think of that feeling, I think of the times I've gone to the wedding of someone very dear to me. I'm notorious for crying when I watch a bride who is one of my friends walking down the aisle. Her joy is so contagious, and it feels like my heart will burst with happiness for her. I think it's safe to say that in heaven we will feel that contagiously ecstatic all the time. Never tiring, never wanting, surrounded by the host of believers and basking in the light of the Lamb. If that can't inspire hope, I don't know what can.

"Amen. Come, Lord Jesus." (Revelation 22:20)

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: One

Prologue: 
It's easy for me to stray, because it's not an easy life sometimes. School, work, relationships, health... You name it, I've struggled with it. And you probably have too. When things stop being easy, I start to despair. More times than I'd like to admit I've glared at heaven and asked why I can't just have what I want. I've certainly been angry more times than I've been thankful. 
This last year has been a time in the spiritual wilderness, and I'd like to turn that around. That's where this challenge comes in. If you've been on Facebook for a while, you've probably seen someone do a "30 Day Challenge" of photos or songs or whatever. The premise is simple. Post one thing every day for thirty days (usually with a requirement like "a photo of something you're afraid of"). I don't have any fancy quotas to fill each day, but I do commit to posting in this blog every day (as I'm able). Often I avoid posting because I'm busy and it takes a long time to put together. So to counteract that I've decided to make these posts "bite-sized". This one is longer, with all this preamble, but typically I intend to make them fairly short. This also means that if you want to follow along, you'll be able to read them quickly. The format will be simple: A verse, and some thoughts. My prayer is that you and I can grow in faith together. Without further ado: Day One...


"Jesus wept." (John 11:35)

Yes, I know that this verse is the punchline for endless 7th grade Confirmation students. I'm young. I'm involved. I've been there.
Teacher: "What verse in the Bible is your favorite?"
Student: "Jesus wept." 

Ha. Haha. Ha.

But I'm not trying to be funny. Those two words are so powerful for anyone who has suffered (which is everyone). Here's some context: Jesus had a friend, Lazarus, who had died and been buried. He went to be with Lazarus' sisters, and He was about to perform the miracle of raising Lazarus from the dead. He had already alluded to his disciples and the sisters (11:11 & 23) that He was perfectly able to raise Lazarus from the dead. He was planning on it. He's the Son of God and the only one in the world with the power to fix a tragedy like this. 

But wait. 

Before He uses His divine power and fixes what has been broken, He weeps. He is overcome with grief and compassion, and experiences the very human overflowing of emotion that can only be expressed through tears. This is one of the most striking testimonies to the full humanity and full divinity of Jesus. 

Truly He shares our griefs, because He has been there. 

Those days that we spend in tears aren't always days of doubt. Just because we cry doesn't mean we don't trust God. Jesus trusted His Father. But human beings are only so strong, and sometimes we simply need to weep, because our emotions are so strong they cannot (and should not) be ignored. The gift of expression is a blessing. It helps us cope with the things that are too much to bear. What we must remember is that Jesus, after weeping, performed an incredible miracle. While the Son is not still walking the earth and fixing all our troubles with the touch of His hand, and sin still steals our joy sometimes, the Father is still watching and directing our steps, and it will get better. As it says in one of my favorite Psalms, 126, "Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy."

Be patient. Better things are coming.