The Good I Want To Do

"This is what the Lord says - your Redeemer, the Holy One of Israel: 'I am the Lord your God, who teaches you what is best for you, who directs you in the way you should go. If only you had paid attention to my commands, your peace would have been like a river, your righteousness like the waves of the sea.'" (Isaiah 48:17-18)

Where do our morals come from? The other day I spent a lot of time considering the source of our values and how we determine what's important to us. For many of us who grew up in the church, a lot of what we do is shaped by the principles of our faith. The more constant influence is the teachings of our parents, which may also line up with the teachings of faith. What about those who don't come from a religious family though? What about the laws of our governments? Or the rules of our institutions? Interestingly enough, my opinion is that those "secular" values also stem from the roots of God's law. We are born sinful, and tempted constantly to engage in destructive behavior that hurts both us and our neighbors. Since ancient times (in fact, the beginning of time), God's law has been there to guide us away from our selfish and harmful natures. It is the basis for the morals we have passed down for centuries, the very core of our idea of what it means to be a "good person". Even if we don't recognize our actions as a breach of God's law, we can see the awful consequences of our actions. Sometimes it takes such a breach to turn us back to God, asking for His forgiveness and seeking His guidance again. 

The verse from Isaiah that I quoted above speaks a truth that I often forget: God's path, no matter how difficult it seems at the time, is always what's best for us. Always. Following His direction is the only way to experience real peace, without the calamity that comes from the actions of our selfish nature. As I said though, as a sinful human I tend to go charging ahead with what I think is best for me. Sometimes I'm even aware of the consequences, and decide to go ahead anyway, simply because sin is in my nature and temptation is so very hard to resist. Paul recounts his own struggle with this in Romans 7:7-25, including his well-known lament in verse 15: "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do." As Christians we desire to follow God, and we know that His will is best, but despite our best intentions we stumble. At the end of the passage though, Paul shares the hope that we have even after we fall: "Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God - through Jesus Christ our Lord!" (vv. 24-25) 

God has us covered from all sides. He gives us direction to lead us to peace, and offers us forgiveness through the sacrifice of His Son when we stray. Take comfort dear friends! Your Father gives you all you need for a life of peace and joy.

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Thirty

"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me. Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me." (Psalm 51:10-12)

Here we are folks, thirty days later (plus the two I skipped). Chances are you've heard this verse before. It's sung as an offertory for the third Divine Service setting in the Lutheran Service Book. It's almost curious to think of these words as a prelude to returning our gifts to God. Everything in it is a request, which may seem a bit of a selfish offering. But when you think about it, with these words we offer up our souls to be changed by God. We ask He work in us and continue to grant us spiritual gifts. Here we acknowledge how undeserving we are. And here we admit that we need the strength and healing that only He can give. 

As I read this today I realized that the requests David brings before the Lord in this psalm were also on my heart as I started this blog. I knew that I had been wrong in so many ways and relied on everything else except God for help. I knew that I needed to change and remember where my strength and purpose comes from. I've come a long way, and I can only pray I've brought many of you with me. But no matter how far I've come, I still must bring these requests to my Lord daily. In fact, I can say with confidence that I will continue to need this prayer every day of my life. We are sinful beings, and apt to stray. But I can also say that God never withholds these blessings. As we come to Him in repentance, we are met only with love and forgiveness. When we seek out His Word and spend time in conversation with Him, we find the peace and renewal that we seek. We are reminded of the boundless joy that we have through salvation. We are sustained by the knowledge that He has worked faith in us, and will sustain it.   

Some days I've had to force myself to sit down and write, while other days I've felt a deep need to dig into the Word. In all these days I have never regretted the time I've spent meditating on God's Word and sharing it with all of you. I have learned how much comfort can be drawn from God's Word. I have uncovered mysteries that we humans cannot understand. I have been reminded that God's love is balm for a troubled heart. And I have rediscovered that He is always offering guidance, and we need only to seek it. I'm not sure exactly sure how often I will post now, but I hope to do it more than I was before. Whatever happens, I hope you, like me, have been granted a "willing spirit" that will continue to seek God's will in all you do.

I leave you with the words of my favorite professor:
"God is much at work, even when you don't detect it."

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Twenty-Nine

"Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." (Ephesians 4:2)

"Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord...Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her" (Ephesians 5:22 & 25)

"Your attitude should be the same as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made Himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness." (Philippians 2:5-7)

"Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time." (1 Peter 5:6)

Okay, obviously I'm not going to completely unpack every single one of these verses, because we're still going for "bite-sized". Today I might sound like a broken record, because I've talked before about modeling our love after Christ, and the importance of humility. But it's so important, and I wanted to bring up all these verses and look at how they're all connected. This morning in church I heard a really wonderful sermon about the "dreaded" submission of wives. The point that made it not dreadful at all is that the roles are exemplified by our relationship with Christ. That relationship is filled with humility on both sides. Even though Christ is true God and has divine power, He humbled himself and became a man. There were times when He demonstrated the power He had, but there were also times when He chose to refrain. The most important example is when He was on the cross. He chose to endure that humiliating and torturous sacrifice through to completion, to save us. It is the ultimate example of humility and love. Now he is exalted (keep reading in that Philippians passage). We also endure suffering here on earth, but because of His suffering we will also share in the exaltation. 

This is our ultimate goal for relationships here on Earth - to emulate the humility, submission, sacrifice, and love that has been demonstrated for us by Christ. We will fall short, because we are sinners. We needed an example and we're slow learners. But I cannot stress enough that after suffering comes joy. When we consider our own needs as more important than those of others, we drive others away and are left with such a weight on our shoulders. But when we care for each other, offer encouragement, and admit our weaknesses to one another, even our weakness and pain becomes strength and blessing. While it may not always work with every person in your life (and those situations are difficult to handle), most of the time we draw in the love that we give out. Think of how incredible it is to be loved by Christ. Now think of how incredible it is to experience even a shadow of that kind of love here on Earth. Sound like something worth having? I certainly think so.  

I'm slowly learning that humility is the key to love and joy, even in those times when it seems like humility will cause me to lose everything. In the end, what God has in store for me is better than anything I may lose here. 

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Twenty-Eight

"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." (John 10:10)

When I did my final psychology research project in college, the findings of my study were that people who tend to strive towards accepting and understanding themselves also tend to be more satisfied with their lives. The folks in my study who relied more on the approval of others were often less satisfied. After I presented my results, one of my mentors asked me what I thought life satisfaction scores would be in those striving for a stronger faith. The answer to the question should be that faith-centered goals lead us to a higher satisfaction, but unfortunately I'm not sure it would be true. You see, we tend to let other things get in the way. Even if we want to grow closer to God, we are so distracted. We fill our lives with so many things for "self improvement": jobs, school, relationships, fitness, hobbies, and more. Don't get me wrong, those things are important! We are given talents by God and called to use them. But are we honestly pursuing those talents to be good stewards? I know in my own life I'm guilty of using all those things as a distraction, and relying on them to make me happy. I lean on them for fulfillment. Ironically, when I pursue all the things that are supposed to fill my life with purpose, I end up feeling more empty. 

The reason that I said people with faith-centered goals would be happier is that those of us who are saved by Christ and loved by the Father don't need to keep searching and trying to find fulfillment. The goals we set in life can change, and we are almost sure to fail at a few of them. But when we set our sights on God, and seek to know Him better, we are sure to be satisfied. He gives us His Word for comfort and instruction. He delights in giving us gifts. From Him we learn humility, mercy, love, and joy. In Him we have forgiveness when we fail, and help when we falter. He doesn't just give us eternal life, He fills it to the brim. When others fail us, and we fail ourselves, God is still there to hold us up.

Next time you're feeling empty and discouraged from all the goals you've fallen short of, remember where you get your purpose.  

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Twenty-Seven

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

Wasting away isn't a pretty picture, but I used the phrase in a conversation today. I said that I wanted to be left to waste away. The person I was talking to didn't respond, and that only drove home the point that it can be dangerous to put our hope in people. Now I'm not saying that everyone is secretly selfish or not to be trusted. We need to trust at least some people, or we wouldn't be able to live productive lives. The point is that people are sinful, and everyone will let you down in one way or another. We go through life in a cycle of repentance and forgiveness. God, however, has never and will never let us down. He doesn't cause bad things to happen in our lives. He doesn't tempt us into calamity. He doesn't hurt us. He loves us, guides us, and saves us from our sin. Most importantly, He doesn't give up and leave us to wither. He strengthens us. When we feel as if we're wasting away, He saves us from hopelessness.

It may be a little upsetting to hear our troubles called "light" or "momentary". Many affect us deeply, and take a long time to overcome. It's okay to recognize how painful it is, but we need to also recognize that the trouble will end. Someday we will look at this time in our personal history and see how we've grown, as we do now with our past experiences. After we die, those troubles will fade from our memory in the endless bliss of heaven. The feeling of wasting away often comes in the midst of the hurting, when it's hard to see what there is to look forward to. I struggle daily with the fact that there's not much I can fix my imagination on, because I'm so caught up in the pain from hopes of this life that have been disappointed. Even the temporary things are hard to see at this moment, and those that I can see look bleak. But even now there are eternal things on which I can fix my sights. I can trust in those things, and they are worth waiting for.

When earthly trouble wears you down, remember to place your trust and hope in the eternal promises of our Father. 

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Twenty-Six

"Then He told this parable: A man had a fig tree, planted in his vineyard, and he went to look for the fruit on it, but did not find any. So he said to the man who took care of the vineyard, 'For three years now I've been coming to look for fruit on this fig tree and haven't found any. Cut it down! Why should it use up the soil?'
'Sir,' the man replied, 'leave it alone for one more year, and I'll dig around it and fertilize it. If it bears fruit next year, fine! If not, then cut it down.'" (Luke 13:6-9)

Several years ago I was at a church youth event over the New Year's holiday, and during the event my team and I attended a church service on New Year's Eve. It had been a really rough December, and throughout the event I had been in a very heated conflict with an old friend (it was the first time I had seen them in months). As usual, my emotions were getting the better of me. I was angry, and stubborn, and after the weeks I'd had I wasn't in the most forgiving mood. I didn't see that any good could come from patching things up, and it was going to take a lot of effort. During the church service though, this parable was a part of the readings, and the pastor used it for his sermon. That night is one of the times I remember distinctly as an example of God speaking directly to my heart. The pastor spoke about our tendency to take an axe to things when we think they're more trouble than they're worth. He encouraged us to consider what might happen if we keep working just a little bit longer, maybe even giving it more attention and trying a different method. I cried as I sat in church hearing God telling me to try a little bit of gentleness and care. 

I won't say that I'm now best friends with the person I was fighting with that New Year's Eve. But we did work things out in the hours following the church service, and it was an incredible way to start the year, having made peace in a long standing conflict. They stayed in my life in important ways that I would never have predicted, and I was always glad we could be on good terms. The point is, it's not always easy for us in our human short-sightedness to see why God may be calling us to dig and fertilize instead of tear down. In our hastiness we want to simply cut out the things in our lives that seem too complicated or pointless to deal with. I think as children of God we are called to try harder than the world thinks we should. Perhaps it won't work, or it won't make a very big difference, but the peace that comes from giving our best effort is priceless. Even if things don't turn around, you can live with the knowledge that you gave it another chance. God works with us, even in our sinfulness, and gives us endless chances to come back and receive mercy. As imitators of God, we should also endeavour to forgive and seek peace with our neighbors. 

Living a life of forgiveness and grace might mean trying harder when we just want to give up. As with many things, it's not always easy, but it is always worth it. 

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Twenty-Five

"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content in all circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." (Philippians 4:11-13)

This evening I was talking with a coworker about the fact that our experiences shape our lives. We looked back on a few of our more painful seasons in life and agreed that those times are necessary for us to grow into the complex and wonderful people that we are. Even if we wish we could change them, the value of the lessons is just too dear to tamper with. They help us mature, as I said yesterday. Even more than that, they open a door for us to share comfort and encouragement to others. We can say, "I've been there, here's what helped me get though." We Christians can use our stories and our scars as a way to point to the steadfast love of our Lord. In the passage above, Paul relates to us by sharing that he has experienced times of plenty as well as times of want. Here is another verse you see often on inspirational photos and on spirit wear for Lutheran school sports. Unfortunately, this verse rarely ever is shown in context, and I think the context is very important. Paul isn't just saying that God gives him strength to run fast or do extraordinary things. He assures the readers that he has been through some very hard times. He knows what it's like to be hungry and poor and truly oppressed. Yet he says that he has learned to be content every day with the knowledge that he is loved by God and saved through Christ. This is a contentment that surpasses earthly troubles.

Contentment doesn't always mean happiness. There are very wonderful times when I've felt both happiness and contentment at the same time (usually I use the term bliss). There have been times when I've been happy, but still restless and not really content. There have been still other times when I wasn't necessarily happy, but nevertheless I was content. To me, contentment means peace. It's an acceptance of things as they are, and a knowledge that things will turn out right. We always have this knowledge with Christ, because we know that He has saved us through His death and resurrection. We have eternal life. Even when we aren't necessarily happy, we have peace in the love of our Heavenly Father. 

My prayer is that you cling to this peace even in the times of hurt and doubt. The love of God is a source of strength and comfort that never fails, and never goes away. 

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Twenty-Four

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." (James 1:2-4)

Maturity is a concept that's thrown around in conversation often. We label people as mature or immature, but it's a difficult concept to measure because there are so many facets. People can have more maturity in one area than another. What's almost always true is that maturity doesn't just happen. To grow in our mental and emotional maturity we must experience things. Even more importantly, we must reflect on our experiences and learn what we can in order to handle ourselves better in the future. Often we learn the most potent lessons from unpleasant experiences. Humans remember strong emotion well, and sadness or anger are some pretty strong emotions. What's more, it's easier for us to remember the consequences of certain actions or situations when we felt the sting of those consequences first hand.

Growing in our faith is not much different. We learn best by being tested, or having unpleasant experiences. The lesson that God wants us to learn most is that we need to turn to Him when times of doubt and turmoil arise. It's a tough lesson, and it never comes easily. It takes a lifetime of trials to truly understand the depth of our need for God, but every time we make it through hard times with perseverance we become a little bit stronger. Have you ever marvelled at the faith of someone who is older than you? I have so many examples in my life of people who have walked in their faith for longer than I, and things that would send me into despair only cause them to cling harder to the promises of God. Let these members of the body of Christ be an example to you when trials come, for they've gone through trials of their own and have learned to trust in their Savior, who can calm the biggest storms. Likewise, when you see your fellow Christians in distress, share your struggles with them and encourage them in their faith. Maturity is not just a character trait to be pursued, it is a gift to share with others.  

Let your trials strengthen your faith and serve as a witness to others of the faithfulness of God. 

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Twenty-Three

"[God] gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." (Isaiah 40:29-31)

[First, I apologize for missing yesterday. I've tried to adopt a no excuses policy for this, but since I left for a wedding at 9am and didn't get back until after midnight, I hope you'll all understand.]

The verse you see above is one I tend to take for granted. It's the inspiration for the title of my blog. It's printed on inspirational mugs at Christian bookstores. It's on t-shirts for track teams at Lutheran high schools. When a verse gets used over and over like that, we sometimes start to glaze over it. On some level we probably think we've gotten all we can from it, so we hear it without really listening, like a beautiful picture on our wall that we don't stop to look at anymore. The awesome thing about God's word is that it's never stagnant. It lives and moves and works in unexpected ways, shaking us up when we get comfortable. Sometimes we see things we never noticed before. Sometimes we see old favorites at just the right time. And sometimes we see familiar passages in a new light. God is constantly using His Word to guide and comfort us when we least expect it. 

I can almost certainly assume that at some point you have had one of those days (or weeks, or months...) when it feels like you're dragging yourself, kicking and screaming, through absolutely everything. I've been feeling that way this past week. It's the last two weeks of my school term, and I'm all out of steam. No matter how much I know I need to get my final assignments done, doing the work is a constant struggle. My job has been slow. My morning workout has been tough. I haven't been sleeping well. I have writer's block when I try to blog. And on top of it all I feel guilty for not being more motivated. It feels like I'm wasting my gifts of time and talent. But when I was flipping through my Bible looking for a different verse this afternoon, I saw this verse in Isaiah highlighted, and I read it again. The first part hit me right in the heart. Even those who are the strongest and most able have trouble keeping up the fight. Everyone gets tired and falls down. Our own strength will fail. When that happens, we are reminded to look to God. The hope we have through Him is a hope that brings new strength. In Him we have a reason to continue, knowing that He is with us through every trial. When we are drained and empty, His blessings fill us up. Spending time in His Word is one way that we receive those blessings, and it's an excellent way to find the strength to keep going when we just don't know how we'll manage.

Consider the promises God has made and fulfilled, and draw strength from the hope they bring. 

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Twenty-Two

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and and time to die.
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace."
(Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)

That's a lot. Really, I can't address every single one of these pairings, but I wanted to include all of it, and I encourage you to read this familiar passage carefully and spend some time thinking about it. The portions that tend to really hit me are the ones that tie in with what I said yesterday. Planting and uprooting. Mourning and dancing. Tearing and mending. All these things happen, even though we'd often like to keep watering our dead plants instead of digging them up, or we would give anything for the garment to not have torn in the first place. Sometimes there is even time in between, when we are simply waiting for the courage or the right time to turn it around. Not many people go straight from mourning to dancing. And when a relationship is torn, very rarely can it be mended right away. All these things have their proper time. 

God acknowledges ups and downs. He will always work for our good, but it won't always feel good at the time. Even though it's painful to think about, we can't just glaze over the bad times and say "it doesn't matter". It does matter. Those times teach us lessons, and often they're lessons we desperately need, and wouldn't have learned if we had stayed comfortable. They also bring our blessings into focus. As the song lyrics say, "The shadow proves the sunshine." Going through times of grief and struggling towards something better makes us appreciate the good things that much more when they come. 

Know that there is a purpose for every season of your life. Take time to consider how God may be teaching you or working for your good right now, even (especially) when you would rather just skip to the next season. 

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Twenty-One

"Even in laughter the heart may ache, and joy may end in grief." (Proverbs 14:13)

A while ago I saw a friend post on social media about how silly it is that they keep hanging on to so much sentimental stuff, even after making several moves in a short period of time. I am the same way. A lot of my stuff isn't anything I'd normally keep if it didn't have sentimental value. Just the other night I was thinking that if the house were on fire I'd probably try to grab my two shoeboxes of random memorabilia. They're full of the kind of souvenirs you don't buy: bottle caps, ski tags, drawings from children, a tiny plastic pickle making a silly face, notes of encouragement, and much more. These are the things we hold dear in our hearts, and I think it's because we know that we won't always be happy. We all have times when joy seems far away, and we keep these things to remind us that we were once happier. They act as a promise that things will turn back around. 

The fact that we keep reminders of happiness shows that we know it may be temporary, and yet we tend to get angry at God when we find ourselves in the valleys of life. But just like those tokens of happiness that we keep, God's Word is a promise that things will turn back around. This verse reminds us that God never promised to make every earthly joy last. The only eternal joy is in heaven. Here below we have ups and downs. Sometimes they happen simultaneously, when our laughter covers an aching heart. Sometimes it seems that everything is right one minute, and the next minute everything is wrong. Keep the faith, and know that it will get better. A bonus verse, and one of my favorites: "Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him." (Psalm 126:5-6) The toil is worth the reward.

Keep pushing forward my friends. We have a place in the courts of our King, where the laughter is pure and the joy is everlasting.   

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Twenty

"Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for He is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and He relents from sending calamity." (Joel 2:13)

What's interesting about the Old Testament is that, as a rough summary, it's a cycle of disobedience, disaster, and forgiveness. The people of the OT had a tendency to wander away from the path God clearly laid out for them. They grumbled. They were wicked. God sent prophets to warn them about what would happen if they didn't shape up, and when they went ahead and kept on sinning and calamity happened, He sent prophets to offer hope and a path to healing. Those words of hope can be a great comfort to us today, in our own wandering. I've mentioned that the last year wasn't a great chapter in the story of my faith. I let my worries isolate me, and let myself be overcome with despair. Living alone, with not a lot of encouragement in my faith, I wandered away from God. Coming back is a work in progress, but I think we all often feel that way in our lives. We know what God wants for us, but temptation often seems easier, and we stray. Unfortunately, it sometimes takes a rude awakening to bring us back.

We have it easy in many ways. Our Messiah has come, and with Him comes forgiveness and salvation. In the days of the Old Testament, they had to offer sacrifice, and as a sign of contrition they would tear their clothes in anguish. As I flipped through my Bible recently, the verse above stuck out to me. "Rend your heart and not your garments." Have you ever felt like your heart was torn? Imagine the vulnerable and empty feeling that comes with a broken heart. It's something I've been feeling a lot in the last few months. But it took that rending of the heart - the disaster and tragedy of disappointed earthly hopes - to bring me back to my Savior. He is the only things that can fill the hole and heal the wounds. It wasn't until I was reminded of the temporality of earthly love that I clung once more to the eternal love of my Father. We've heard it many times that God works in mysterious ways. Sometimes those ways can be painful, but these humbling experiences are needed to show us what truly matters. 

Even in heartbreak, there is blessing, because it reminds me to return to my God for the love that will endure.

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Nineteen

[One more passage from this section of Ephesians. If you're looking for some extra reading, take the last three days as a hint that Ephesians - especially the section in 4 and 5 I've been covering - is particularly potent.]

"Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children; and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." (Ephesians 4:32-5:2)

I don't know anyone who hasn't been told at least once that they are very similar to their parents. Typically that sentiment is expressed by well-meaning friends/strangers until you're tired of hearing it, partially because it's so painfully obvious. Of course I'm like my parents. It's how science works - when two people contribute DNA to their child, the child picks up traits from both of them. That child looks like its parents physically, and usually acts like its parents in many ways. When it comes to those personality traits, arguments are made regarding "nature vs. nurture". Psychology scholars have pretty much come to the conclusion that it's both/and, not either/or. Just like I have my father's eyes and my mother's hair, built from codes in the genes they passed on, so also my brain that shapes some of my personality was built from those genes. Added to that basic brain structure is a whole lot of experience that has shaped the way I act. In my most formative years a lot of that experience revolved around my parents - both how they exposed me to the world outside and how they interacted with me personally. 

Enough of the science lesson though, what does the have to do with God? To put it succinctly: We are God's children, and that should be as obvious to those around us as our earthly parentage. We are made in the image of God, and though His Word we have a wealth of instruction and examples on how we should live our lives. Just like your parents told you to share and say please, God tells you to repent and ask forgiveness. Just like you learned how to show kindness and caring from your parents, God gives us the ultimate example of sacrificial love and forgiveness through the death and resurrection of His Son. Because your parents taught you so much, you probably still go to them seeking advice and guidance. Even more so, we should seek our Heavenly Father's guidance when we are perplexed! Our earthly parents are certainly sent as a blessing to guide us, but they are still human, and still flawed by sin. God our Father is omnipotent and infallible. He will always have time to hear the prayers of His children, and He will always have the right answer. Look to Him as you would look to your parents, and look to Him when even your parents let you down.

Consider how incredible it is that you are a child of God. Imitate His ways, and learn from Him as you would learn from your family here on earth. Depend on His love as you depend on the love of your family.  

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Eighteen

"'In your anger do not sin': Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the Devil a foothold." (Ephesians 4:26-27)

The good Lord has blessed me with an overabundance of emotion. Sometimes it really is a blessing, like when I'm so happy I could burst. Other times it's a difficult struggle, and one of my more thorny struggles is anger. It's not that I'm angry too often, in fact I usually have a remarkably abundant amount of patience. The problem is that when I do get angry, it burns hot. I'm one of those people - you probably know many - who are really nice, until they're pushed over the edge and get... really not nice. Because of this, I struggle with the first part of this passage: "In your anger do not sin" (which actually comes from Psalm 4:4, if you want some extra reading today). When anger flares up and begins to consume us, as humans we struggle to cope. We end up doing things that are so unlike our normal selves that when it's all said and done we can hardly believe what we did, or considered doing. The anger usually stems from pain of some kind, and pain makes people lash out. My personal struggle is a tendency to make potent verbal attacks. I know how to hit where it hurts, and twist words into the most effective weapon. Since I always think communication is important, it's only natural that my reaction to anger is to communicate it, but the struggle I face is finding ways to let it out without causing damage that I won't be able to repair. I'm sure you all have a particular angry vice that is similar, if not the same. 

We're often told that it's a good idea to take a break when we're angry and cool off, and I agree that it's important. Sometimes walking away from a fight is necessary to avoid saying those words you'll regret later. Unfortunately we sometimes use this philosophy to try and bury our anger, and not come back and address it again. This doesn't work, psychologically or spiritually. Your mind is not a sieve, and it will not forget the wrongs that were important enough to inspire anger in the first place. Even if you're able to move on fairly easily, chances are the other person involved is not, and by not addressing the wrongs that were done you are forcing them to continue in their sin. God didn't tell us to bury our sins. He told us to repent of them. Repentance requires acknowledging what we did wrong and asking for forgiveness, from the person we wronged and from God. We need to have the humility-filled conversations in which we speak the truth in love and air out our grievances with one another. Holding on to anger, or pretending it isn't there, only gives Satan a perfect doorway to tempt us into more sin and cause more destruction. 

Anger isn't right, but it is a persistent part of our sinful nature. Fortunately there's no sin that God cannot handle. He sent Christ to die for all sins, so that we could have forgiveness from Him, and extend that forgiveness to each other. Don't let your anger sink deep into your heart, to poison you from the inside. Acknowledge the pain that caused the anger, speaking the truth in love. Trust your brothers and sisters in Christ to show understanding and forgive as we have all been forgiven.

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Seventeen

"Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into Him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From Him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself in love, as each part does its work." (Ephesians 4:15-16)
Later: "Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body." (Ephesians 4:25)

There is a post-it note that I've taped up in my various living spaces, on which is written a quote from a lecture by one of my favorite college professors. It reads, "There are no regrets speaking the truth in love." It serves as a reminder of a few different things. 

First, it reminds me that I should always seek to understand what the truth is. Those words were delivered by a strong Christian woman, and I know with full confidence that she would agree the only absolute truth is God's. Through prayer, study, and meditation we should do our best to seek God's truth and understand it.

Second, it reminds me that I should be bold in proclaiming the truth. If we want to maintain healthy, intimate, Christian relationships, part of that is sharing the truth with each other. Even when it may be hard to hear, and even when it may be hard to say. I've said before that God does His work through us, showing His love and truth through our relationships with each other. 

Third, and most importantly, it's a reminder that the only way to deliver the truth about anything is to be motivated and checked by love for my neighbor. Sometimes this means speaking hard truth to someone else when we are concerned about them. Sometimes it means sharing a truth about ourselves that we would rather keep hidden. In any of these conversations, we should keep Christ at the center, modeling our love after His and forgiving as God forgave us. Only then can we truly say we have no regrets.

Truth is not always simply the absence of a lie. I believe we are called not only to be honest, but also to be open. Speaking the truth in love to better serve the body of Christ is an intentional act. Through proactive honesty we build the kind of intimate relationships that strengthen us as Christians and give us a glimpse of the love God has for us. It begins with taking time to understand our own hearts. When we practice being honest with ourselves, we can better understand and relate to others, contributing to the body of Christ in our own unique way. 

Show your love by being committed to truth in all you do. 

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Sixteen

"'Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,' says the Lord, who has compassion on you." (Isaiah 54:10)

How many times have you felt like the mountains are shaking in your life? Often it seems like the very landscape of our world is changing. People come into our lives and leave again. For one reason or another we have to move and leave behind the life we made. We lose jobs. We lose loved ones. When life seems to be one crisis after another, perhaps we even feel as though we're losing faith. There have been times when I've wondered where God is in the midst of all the heartache. And there are others I know who have been through even worse things. Sometimes it's hard to see how God is working, or feel His presence in the darkness. That's exactly how Satan wants you to feel - alone. People who are alone are weak and vulnerable. When you feel alone it's easier to get under your skin and sow seeds of doubt and anger. What we need to remember is that we are not alone, ever. Even in those seasons of loneliness, God is always there. All we have to do is take shelter in Him.   

Trust is difficult. It goes against our instinct. It goes against our experience. When disasters align and create the perfect storm, we want to run and hide from everything, even the things that might help us. Have courage, and remember that God is still showing you His love in ways you may not even see. If you try to face the storm alone, eventually your strength will give out. You are only human, and you only have so much control. Give over control to the God who calms the wind and waves, including those that attack your heart. I have picked up a bad habit of not telling the people that love me when I'm having a hard time, because often there's nothing that they can do about it and I know it will weigh heavy on their hearts to know I am struggling. What I forget is that they want to share my burdens, and telling them will lessen the load. God your Father also aches for you in your trouble. Not only will telling Him lessen your load, but He actually can help, in ways you cannot even comprehend. 

Trust the God of compassion to anchor you, even when the very ground you stand on is crumbling away. 

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Thirteen

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking in anything." (James 1:2-4)

It's probably safe to say that we all, at one time or another, have gone through one of those seasons in our lives when it feels like we're just waiting for things to get better. Perhaps we can see how the things we are going through lead to some end goal, even if we're not enjoying those steps as much as we hoped we would. Perhaps we honestly have no idea why we're doing what we're doing, but we hope it's going to lead us to something different, closer to where we want to be in life. Either way, getting through those times isn't easy. It takes perseverance. Perseverance is a skill that takes effort. And there are times when it takes more effort than usual. I'm currently in one of those development periods. In fact, many days I feel like it's been years since I wasn't in development. I'm well aware that we continue to grow throughout our lives, or at least that's what healthy people should do. But it's been 5 years since I have lived at the same address for more than 12 months. I've never had a relationship last longer than two years. The most time I've spent at one job is about a year and a half. In the grand scheme of things, I've lived a fairly nomadic lifestyle, both physically and emotionally, for a while now. It's unsettling. Then again, I'm terrified that once I do settle down I won't have the first idea how to handle it. Just thinking about it now leaves me short of breath. On the other hand, thinking about always transitioning like this also gets me panicky. Phew. 

So what can we do during these times of movement, when we can't help feeling restless, and the light at the end of the tunnel seems to keep moving farther away? My suggestion is, as always, to start with prayer. I promise that God has not forgotten you, and talking with Him helps to remind us that He is there listening, watching, and guiding. Tell Him your dreams. Spend time in His Word as well, listening to what He has to say to you. Reflect on what He is doing in your life, and what He has already taught you. These times of trial that test our perseverance are meant to help us grow in our faith and mature in our lives. Consider what you can learn from what you have gone through, and share your lessons with others that may also be struggling. Sometimes, God is giving you the tools to be a witness and a comfort to others. Above all, don't be discouraged by your restlessness. Feeling like we are meant to keep moving forward doesn't mean we don't trust God to bless us where we are! Sometimes the Spirit moves in us, driving us toward prospects we cannot even imagine.

Seek joy and peace where you are, and you'll be surprised to discover the ways that God can work for your good, in a time and place you never expected. 

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Fifteen

"The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.'" (Genesis 2:18)

I've hinted before at my feelings regarding the cultural obsession with independence. It's time for me to really dig in. As a brief summary: It makes me uncomfortable. In fact, I should probably just be honest and say it makes me really angry. Trying to be self-sufficient and not trusting or relying on anyone is not healthy, and it's not the way God intended us to live. We need people. We need family, friends, and co-workers. Many (most?) of us need spouses eventually. Need. Not want, not "might be nice", not "maybe someday when I get my own stuff figured out". Being a responsible, interesting, proactive member of society is important, but somewhere along the line we decided that getting too close to people reduces our ability to accomplish those goals. It's almost like we think that if we care too much about others we won't be able to care for ourselves. Now, I'm not saying that's never true. Sometimes people (even me) can become so wrapped up in being there for other people that they forget to spend some time on taking care of themselves. But technically, if we're fostering close relationships, there should also be people in our lives who take care of us and remind us that we're worth taking care of. This is not a perfect world, and relationships don't always work like they should, but setting an example of love and caring in your own actions is the best way to ensure that love and caring will be returned.

Think for a minute about the circumstances surrounding the verse above. God has created a vast world filled with plants, animals, and one man. The man had plenty to do, tending the rest of the flora and fauna and such. Maybe he could have managed it, and he would have grown strong and responsible and powerful. In those days God even dwelled in the garden, and would have been company for the man sometimes. But God in His wisdom did not want him to ever be alone, and He created a helper to be there for him and support him. Knowing all this, why would we insist that today we should do it all ourselves? We live in a world full of sin, where we face heartache and stress in our everyday lives. We are given relief through the people God places in our lives to help and comfort us. They are one of the most powerful, visible, tangible ways God shows us His love. I have always believed that the best way to learn is through experience. God wants to teach us grace and love, and our relationships are the best way to learn. 

Most of this last year I lived alone. And even though I saw friends every once in a while, went to work (sometimes more than one place in a day), and was in a relationship with someone I got to see occasionally, I was lonely. Unfortunately, I allowed myself to feel guilty about being lonely, which only made it worse. I believed the world when it told me that I should be happy in my independence. If you take anything from today's post, let it be this: Never feel guilty for desiring the love and company of others. You were created to feel that way. God is always there, always listening, and always loving you, but the people in your life are the earthly ways He satisfies your need for love and companionship. Treasure them, and make sure they know that it's okay to need you, and you will be there.   

Don't be afraid of depending on others, as well as God. You don't have to do this life thing alone.    

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Fourteen

"She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue... Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." (Proverbs 31: 25-26, 30)

"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight." (1 Peter 3: 3-4)

I try to avoid really popular verses, because goodness knows I have little to say that you haven't heard before. Some things are worth remembering over and over again though. Beauty, particularly in women, is one of those topics we talk about as a culture a lot, so it follows that we might benefit from talking about it as Christians as well. Here I am then, to give you my two cents, plus God's take, which is worth much more. 

Beauty is a tough subject. It shouldn't be the only thing that matters, but it is something. God gave us two eyeballs, and an amazing brain to process what we see. Then he wired us to be pleased by certain visual cues. Make no mistake, God created beauty. He created rolling hills, purple lilies, ocean sunsets, and corgi puppies. He also created us, with colorful eyes and nice skin and all kinds of parts that can look all kinds of ways. We are charged with taking care of our bodies, and being presentable to the world. One of my favorite sayings is, "looking nice is a lovely form of politeness". When we put our best appearances forward it shows people that we value them and their opinion. And contrary to popular belief, valuing the opinions of others is a good thing. Being considerate of others is a sign of a beautiful soul, which brings me to my second point: The most beautiful appearance can be marred by a soul that does not walk in the light of Christ. 

You've heard the sayings about a smile being the most important accessory. In many ways it's true. Joy is beautiful. Contentment and peacefulness are beautiful. Being a listening ear, sharing wisdom, speaking the truth in love, putting others before yourself, and spreading God's message of hope are all beautiful. Above all, loving others with the love we've been given through Christ is stunning. Part of that is encouraging others in their own beauty. 

Strive for the kind of beauty that brightens the lives of those around you, and be open about the ways you see beauty in the people you meet. 

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Twelve

"Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work." (2 Corinthians 9:6-8)

You've probably heard the phrase, "God loves a cheerful giver" at least once, if not countless times. Usually we associate this with monetary contributions, but I'd like to take a different stance. As a 23-year-old who is currently taking out more student loans than I'd like to count and has never heard the word "salary" spoken to me directly, I don't have a lot, financially, to give to the church or to the world. It can be discouraging (for many reasons), and sometimes I feel guilty. Look at the verses before and after the most familiar phrase though. I'm not sure Paul is talking about money, at least not exclusively. Should we fund the church if we are able? By all means. But there is something with which we are all supplied that we can in turn give out abundantly: Grace.

One of the facts about being a sinful human being is that we struggle with selfishness. We are taught by the world to look out for ourselves, because hardly anyone else is going to do it. We get tired of giving and not receiving. Eventually we stop wanting to forgive, since it seems we're always held accountable for our own mistakes. We get tired of trusting, only to be let down. We get tired of loving, when it seems to always lead to hurt. I've been at that point where I look up and say, "I have no more left to give." I've viewed grace as finite, and anything finite can be depleted. So I've sat there, exhausted from giving too much and bitter about the prospect of giving more. What went wrong in those times is that I tried to dig into myself and find the will to give more, and I really am limited in how much grace I have to spread around. I'm human. I get frustrated and greedy and angry. Digging deeper into myself will never work. Looking to God will always work. Spending time recharging with His Word and being reminded of His love and infinite grace gives us the strength to keep a smile on our faces when we have every reason to frown. We can love because He first loved us and forgive because we have been forgiven more. His well of joy and hope never runs dry.

Take comfort in the fact that it's not up to you to create your own grace. It is given to you in abundance, and it spills over into the lives you touch. 

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Eleven

"Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners - of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display His unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on Him and receive eternal life." (1 Timothy 1:15-16)

Was Paul really the worst of sinners? I mean he had messed up pretty badly, but is there even such a thing as the worst of sinners? There isn't anywhere in the Bible that lists a hierarchy of sins. One isn't really worse than another. Some ensnare us and lead us to repetition, sinking deeper into our souls. Some involve others, and can tempt them into sin as well. But I don't think we can say that one person is a "worse" sinner than another. We all need God's grace and patience. And yet, how many times have I believed myself to be the worst sinner imaginable? More than I care to say.

I am stubborn. I struggle with depression and anxiety, and in my personality there is a stubbornness that feeds those illnesses until I am trapped by them. In my stubbornness, I often refuse to forgive myself. Being stubborn can be okay when you're holding to your convictions or pursuing your goals, but it's not as okay when you're holding to the belief that you have damaged something (maybe even yourself) beyond the point of repair. That kind of refusal to budge leads to hopelessness, and it is my greatest struggle. My nearsighted insistence that my past sins have left everything permanently ruined and that there is nothing to be done is a weakness in my faith, and it's one I need to work on. Our God created the world and gave it order, and then repaired it after it fell into sin, sending His Son to give us salvation and hope. It is quite simply ridiculous for us to think that He cannot unravel the tangled messes in our lives and build them back up for our good. He can. And He does. All we have to do is listen, and give Him space to work.  

Don't convince yourself you are the worst sinner. Believe you have the best Savior. 

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Ten

"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." (Matthew 10:29-31)

As much as we love freedom and having choices, sometimes it's not as great it seems. For some people, like me, making decisions is really hard. I can be very decisive when I have to, but for the most part I avoid it at all costs. In order to make a decision you have to know what you want, which means you have to know yourself. Knowing yourself isn't always easy, particularly since healthy people tend to change at least somewhat as they go through life. One day you can think you have a good idea of who you are and what you want, and then suddenly you wake up and barely recognize yourself anymore. What's worse, you find yourself changing your mind about things, and feeling guilty for it. How can we know what's right when we don't even know who we are? In the end, all that matters is we follow God's path as best we can, and continue to witness His love to others in all that we do.

God knows you better than anyone, including yourself. He values you above all, even sending His Son to die for your salvation. He knows every hair on your head and all the things in your heart, and he loves you without end. Think of that. When I went to Concordia, I always made a point to attend chapel on Ash Wednesday. On those days in chapel the theology professors would all help to administer ashes and offer personal absolution. I remember the first time I went to that service, when I knelt down for absolution, the campus pastor laid his hand on my head and said my name. I hadn't spent much time with him, and I wasn't sure how he knew it, but for him to use my name and forgive me of my sins was a deeply emotional experience. It sounds strange to say, but that was one of the first times I truly understood how much God cares for me, personally. This pastor, who served thousands of students, knew my name and cared for me. How much more incredible it is that God, who is responsible for the whole world, knows and cares for me. I pray that you have had a moment like that, or that somehow in another way you can comprehend how deeply God knows you and cares for you.

Never forget that God doesn't just love the world. He loves you. He will never let you fall.

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Nine

"I pray that out of His glorious riches [the Father] may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses all knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." (Ephesians 3:16-21)

What a beautiful thought! It's a longer passage, but it's all worth hearing. I've italicized a few portions that are especially striking. The love of Christ is so expansive that it is beyond comprehension. It "surpasses knowledge". You could spend a lifetime thinking about it and you would still be unable to fully understand how profoundly Christ loves you. Here's a start though: He died for you. He knew how sinful and hurtful and scornful you would be, and He wanted to save you. He endured pain that we cannot fathom. He told His disciples in the garden the night before His death, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death" (Mt26:38), and still he went willingly to the cross. He did all this out of the great love He has for us, knowing we have nothing but thanks to give in return. There have been psychology studies indicating that a sense of awe is good for our brains. It is good for us to take in a great landscape and know that we are part of it. In our case as Christians, I think it is good for us to take in the massive love of Christ and know that we are blessed. 

Remember yesterday, when I wrote that we don't always need to know what to pray for in order to pray? I said that sometimes we cannot imagine what good can be done. Sometimes it's the opposite. We think we know what is best, because it seems the obvious next step, or it's something we really want. I'm a planner, and I have a good imagination. Often I ask for something, and get frustrated when it doesn't happen (I'm 99% sure we've all been there). Think about the last time that happened to you, or a particularly potent time that it happened. Now think about what happened next. I'm sure at some point in your life you haven't gotten what you asked God for, and instead He gave you something much better that you hadn't even considered. I know as well as anyone how hard it is to keep those examples in mind when we feel lost and disappointed that things aren't going how we want them to. But I encourage you to keep this verse and your unexpected blessing in mind. God is able to do immeasurably, exceedingly, abundantly more than we can imagine, no matter how good we think our imaginations are.

The next time you lose out on the best thing you can imagine, remember how much bigger God's imagination is. Let go, and let Him imagine a better way to show you his immeasurable love.  

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Eight

"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." (Romans 8:26)

Last night, for the third time this week, I was awake into the wee hours of the morning. I wish I could tell you that I was reading an exciting book or fully absorbed in a craft project, but I can't. I was just hurting. I was filled with the hurting and restlessness that often makes me lose sleep, and the worst part about these feelings is that I have absolutely no idea how to satisfy them. Many times in those terrifying and exhausting nights I lay aching from the fact that I cannot see a solution. Some things just have to hurt. Sometimes I cannot see around the bend. All I can do is pray.

But when I don't know what I want, how can I pray? It's hard to ask for relief when you have nothing to ask for besides relief. I want to tell God my troubles and ask for what I want, but I don't know what I want and some of my troubles are too deep for words. For these very reasons, the verse I've put up today is one of my very favorite verses in the Bible. It reminds us that God knows us inside and out. He sees every corner of our hearts, even the ones we hide from everyone else, and even the ones we try to hide from Him. So even when I couldn't possibly begin to explain the hurt to anyone else, I don't need to explain it to God.

I remember watching Anne of Green Gables as a child, and laughing when Anne prays for the first time. Anne explains to Marilla that she has never prayed, and she always imagined that if she were going to, she would stand out in a vast field and "just feel a prayer". Marilla, in her best no-nonsense voice, informs Anne that she must say a bedtime prayer, and in response Anne speaks a prayer that sounds very much like a business letter. For all the good intentions of Marilla, I think Anne had a point. Sometimes we don't need to say it all out loud. It is okay to feel a prayer, and sometimes it is necessary. The God of our salvation, who knows our heart and loves us immeasurably, hears even the requests we cannot find the words for. He delights in our conversations, even if they don't seem much like conversations to us.

Remember that God hears the prayers we do not even speak, and works for our good even when we can't imagine what good can be done.

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Seven

"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us." (1 John 4:10-12)

What is love? There are 2.5 pages of my Bible's concordance that tell me what God says it is. I've read so many of these passages, from the famous (1 Corinthians 13, anyone?) to the less known. Even this passage is less often talked about than the verse just a few lines away, "There is no fear in love" (1J4:18). I have often turned to the Bible, desperately seeking advice on how to love. Because believe me, I'm no expert, and if you don't believe me you can ask the last three hearts that I've let down with my broken human version of love. 

Why is it so hard to get it right? We're Christians! We should have this down! If God is love, and we follow God, then we should be good at love...right? 
Wrong. For several reasons.

First, contrary to popular belief, being Christians doesn't mean we don't sin. It just means we know what is a sin, and we ask for forgiveness and receive God's grace. Second, we live in a world that has so many twisted ideas about love and relationships, and those ideas have saturated our lives so completely that it's painfully difficult to separate ourselves from them. The third and possibly the most damaging reason is that even our well-meaning Christian friends and leaders sometimes contribute to some pretty messed-up ideas about what love really is. 

This morning I re-read an article I had posted a long time ago from a blogger named Hannah. The article, called My husband is not my soulmate, has a line that hit me like a ton of bricks: "God’s plan is for us to be made more holy, more like Christ… not marry a certain person." (I'd encourage you to read it all if you have time.) 
Well that's different. How many times have you heard the well-meant encouragement that the right person is waiting, being prepared by God and set aside just for you? Frankly, that's not what God has promised. Would our Heavenly Father willfully allow so much pain in our lives if he was strictly planning every step of the way? No my friends. His will is always for our good, but God is not a dictator, and He gives us our own choices in our daily lives. We don't always make the right choices - such is the product of sin. Nevertheless, we choose our path, with the struggles of sin and the grace of God. As my fellow blogger said, God's plan is to give us salvation and love, and bring us closer to Him. He blesses us in so many ways, but they are not set in stone. You are not destined to have a certain job, live in a certain place, have a certain pet, or even marry a certain person. You are called to live in God's Word and bring His love to others. To say that things did or did not work out with someone because it "was[n't] meant to be" is our own determination, not God's, because all that really matters between two people is that they love each other with a love that imitates God's love for us. When we love like that, God's plan is made complete. Not the other way around.

Love is important. The Bible wouldn't talk about it so much if that wasn't true. Love also isn't easy, but it is worth it, and it is God's will for us to be loved (not always in romance, by the way). He showed us His ultimate love through the sacrifice of Christ for our salvation, from which we model our love to each other. He shows us His love daily through the people in our lives, and we likewise show His love to those around us. It keeps our faith strong and vibrant. Go forth dear friends, and let God's love show through you.

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Six

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." (Colossians 3:12-14)

I think all of us, at some time, have heard a well-meaning loved one tell us that we need to toughen up and look out for ourselves or we're going to get hurt. It's a concept that runs deep in our world today. An eye for an eye. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. All that glitters isn't gold. In this get-ahead culture, we feel as though we need a thick skin to survive. Forgiveness is hard to come by. And this attitude doesn't just dictate how we deal with the people "out there". It creeps into our closest relationships. Half of the love advice I've heard urges me to only give so many chances, and try not to let anyone get too close. You never know who you can really trust. In all honesty, it's true. The world is twisted by sin, and we humans are experts at hitting each other where it hurts. 

Given the events of the past couple months, it is more tempting than ever for me to buy into this bitterness. I am a passionately emotional person. My natural tendency is to show compassion and kindness. I love deeply and trust without question. When people take advantage of that it hurts, but I usually recover quickly. Then recently, for the first time in my life, one of the people closest to my heart exhibited astounding callousness. Recovery has been slow, and agonizing. Sometimes it seems like becoming cold and remote is the only way I'll survive, but then I realize that behavior is what hurt me in the first place. They bought into the idea that being distant is the smart thing to do, and people need to be a certain way to earn your love. This is not God's way. God tells us to be humble. He tells us to be patient with each other. He fills our stores with His own love when we feel like we have no more to give. Most importantly, God tells us to forgive as we have been forgiven. Think of all the times you have failed God. Think of the grace and salvation that is still limitlessly given to you. No matter how much grace I show to others, it will never amount to the grace I've been shown by my Heavenly Father.

Let God's forgiveness and love be an example in your own life. Don't let your pain become your sword and armour, let it become your witness.   

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Five

"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy." (1 Peter 2:9-10)

Today I had a discussion about the fact that we, as a society, seem to be obsessed with labels. We have words now for every walk of life, physical condition, interest group, etc. Now is not the time for me to really get into how I feel about this labeling obsession, but when today's discussion turned to why we feel the need to categorize every condition, my take was this: "I think everyone wants to feel like they belong somewhere."

There isn't much that makes me stand out. I'm a pretty average young girl, studying for a pretty unremarkable Master's degree, and I'll soon be working a fairly normal job. I don't get out with friends much ever. I don't have great talents or incredible passions. I don't want to change the world. Sometimes I feel a little lost, or maybe even invisible. But no matter what, God sees me. I'm still a part of His chosen people. He knows my name and hears my prayers. In a world that expects me to make my mark, I am already marked for salvation. I am a witness to the grace and love of God with my own actions. I don't need to be surrounded by people just like me, or find some way to identify myself. I am complex, and I don't fit into a category like the world expects me to, because this place isn't where my story ends. I am here, and there are times I feel like I belong here, but this is not my home. Someday I will be with my Savior, and I'll know what it's like to never feel the restlessness of searching for my place.

Whenever you feel out of place, remember that you always belong in God's arms. 

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Four

"Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed." (James 5:13)

Once, about 5 years ago, I had the opportunity (something rare in the Lutheran church) for private confession and absolution. The pastor at the church I was visiting left time before his Saturday evening service for people to come into the sanctuary alone, confess any sins on their hearts, and receive absolution. It was one of the most moving things I have experienced. Confessing sins is powerful. Somehow it's entirely different from just telling someone about something bad you've done. Plenty of times I've had long conversations with friends and talked about my mistakes. Don't get me wrong, it feels great. But there's something even deeper about going to a fellow believer (particularly a pastor, but even a faithful friend is effective) and asking them to hear your confession. It's powerful to label that deed that's been heavy on your heart as sin and speak it to someone.

As someone who has studied psychology, I am a strong believer in the healing power of speaking out loud about the guilt that bothers you. God, though James, has said that the way for us to heal is to be open with each other and pray. If something is weighing on your heart, ask a friend that you trust to hear you out. [If we are personally acquainted, ask me to talk on Skype or meet you for coffee. I am always willing to listen.] And when you've aired it all out, pray. Lately my prayer life has been less than it should be. More than that, I have always struggled with praying out loud with people. It makes me uncomfortable. But I'd like that to change. As James points out, I need that to change. I don't have the space here to talk about the importance of prayer, but to put it briefly: It's important. And praying with and for the people in our lives is one of the most powerful ways we can experience the love of God. 

As I'm urging myself, I also urge you: Pray with people more. See how it lightens your heart. 

30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Three

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." (Philippians 2:3-4)

Unless you live in a world free of blogs and other social media (and if you do, how are you reading this?), I'm sure you've seen those feel-good articles made attractive with vintage-y looking photos of cool looking people and a title that goes something like, "24 Reasons You're Awesome, and You Don't Need Anybody's Approval". I've read several. They all sound pretty similar. And almost all of them make me cringe, because A) I have a psychology degree and B) I'm a Christian. 

I know, it's a tough world, and we need whatever encouragement we can get. When we're struggling with our own pain and fear and brokenness, it feels good to have the computer screen tell us that it's okay to do whatever we need to to be happy. But here's what gets me: We often decide that it's more important for us to be encouraged than for us to encourage others. Insensitivity has become a virtue. We strive to be blissfully ignorant of the thoughts and feelings of others, and value independence above all else. We are so wrapped up in pursuing our own goals and protecting our fragile self-esteem that we crash through life like the proverbial bull in an emotional china shop. Relieved to be rid of such weaknesses, we sacrifice courtesy, compassion, and humanity on the altar of happiness. It has become our idol.

But wait, doesn't God want us to be happy? Of course! It's His greatest wish for His beloved children. But He's wise enough to know that when we invest in the happiness of others, we gain a happiness that is so much deeper than we ever dreamed of. I think we'd all agree that it doesn't feel good to hurt someone else, but we've bought the lie that it's the price we must pay if we want to be the best we can be. Dear friends, this is not true. It's what Satan has told us to keep us busy sabotaging each other. 

God's way can be frustrating, because not everyone is on board. But nevertheless, strive to find happiness through humility and sacrifice. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.