Today (because it's been on my heart lately), I want to take a hard look at romantic love. This love is unique. Everyone is born into a family. So even though their parents may not choose to love them, everyone at least has that option. God loves every living thing. Although many people choose to ignore it and shy away from God's love, it is there. Romantic love is unique in that we must seek it. We are not born into romance. It can be argued that everyone has a destined "soulmate", but that person must be found and pursued.
For the sake of ease, I'm just going to talk from my perspective, that of a female. A boyfriend is a wonderful thing, but they can be the hardest to love. My parents, and even God, make me angry sometimes. But I've been loving them my whole life, so it hardly seems an option to just forget about them. Boyfriends are different though. They present a choice. And it is indeed a choice. Sometimes you don't feel like loving someone, but really loving them is remembering that they deserve your understanding. Emotions feel urgent. Love is calm.
You know, I really don't have everything (or even many things) figured out, so I should probably stop spouting my wisdom. What does God's Word say about love? (I'm finally going to look at 1 Corinthians 13:4-8) "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." The section goes on to speak more wise words about the temporary nature of everything else, and the fact that we cannot see or understand everything, no matter how much we learn. I'll focus on the section I quoted though. The question is: Should this really be applied to romantic love? My personal answer: Of course! My basic belief is that the love you share with someone you marry should encompass any and all kinds of love.
So does that mean that I or any other dating or married person love perfectly, according to God's instructions? Not nearly. The reason I'm looking at this passage and sharing it with you is that I know I've failed in the past and recently. I need to study every part of this verse and try every day to do what it says, because the reason God put it in his Word was to give us instructions on how to be happy. What happens when I'm impatient? Pain. I can't make time go any faster, no matter how much I want to. What about when I'm envious? Pain. I'm only wishing for things I can't have. And when I'm boastful? Pain. It only hurts my boyfriend when I remind him of what he can't have, and what hurts him hurts me in the end. Everything in that passage is a sure way to avoid pain, and I'm guilty of neglecting them all. I'm selfish, hotheaded, and I hold grudges. I lose faith and hope and feel like I cannot go on. And because of all these things, sometimes my love fails. But God is always there to remind me how to fix it, and lend me the strength to do so. Sometimes things don't go the way I want them to, and I think I know best. In the end though, everything always works out better than I ever could have planned. The very end of 1 Corinthians 13 reminds me of God's plan. After reminding me how often I fail, how blind I am, and how perishable earthly things are, the writer concludes (better than any conclusion I could ever write): "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
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