"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us." (1 John 4:10-12)
What is love? There are 2.5 pages of my Bible's concordance that tell me what God says it is. I've read so many of these passages, from the famous (1 Corinthians 13, anyone?) to the less known. Even this passage is less often talked about than the verse just a few lines away, "There is no fear in love" (1J4:18). I have often turned to the Bible, desperately seeking advice on how to love. Because believe me, I'm no expert, and if you don't believe me you can ask the last three hearts that I've let down with my broken human version of love.
Why is it so hard to get it right? We're Christians! We should have this down! If God is love, and we follow God, then we should be good at love...right?
Wrong. For several reasons.
First, contrary to popular belief, being Christians doesn't mean we don't sin. It just means we know what is a sin, and we ask for forgiveness and receive God's grace. Second, we live in a world that has so many twisted ideas about love and relationships, and those ideas have saturated our lives so completely that it's painfully difficult to separate ourselves from them. The third and possibly the most damaging reason is that even our well-meaning Christian friends and leaders sometimes contribute to some pretty messed-up ideas about what love really is.
This morning I re-read an article I had posted a long time ago from a blogger named Hannah. The article, called My husband is not my soulmate, has a line that hit me like a ton of bricks: "God’s plan is for us to be made more holy, more like Christ… not marry a certain person." (I'd encourage you to read it all if you have time.)
Well that's different. How many times have you heard the well-meant encouragement that the right person is waiting, being prepared by God and set aside just for you? Frankly, that's not what God has promised. Would our Heavenly Father willfully allow so much pain in our lives if he was strictly planning every step of the way? No my friends. His will is always for our good, but God is not a dictator, and He gives us our own choices in our daily lives. We don't always make the right choices - such is the product of sin. Nevertheless, we choose our path, with the struggles of sin and the grace of God. As my fellow blogger said, God's plan is to give us salvation and love, and bring us closer to Him. He blesses us in so many ways, but they are not set in stone. You are not destined to have a certain job, live in a certain place, have a certain pet, or even marry a certain person. You are called to live in God's Word and bring His love to others. To say that things did or did not work out with someone because it "was[n't] meant to be" is our own determination, not God's, because all that really matters between two people is that they love each other with a love that imitates God's love for us. When we love like that, God's plan is made complete. Not the other way around.
Love is important. The Bible wouldn't talk about it so much if that wasn't true. Love also isn't easy, but it is worth it, and it is God's will for us to be loved (not always in romance, by the way). He showed us His ultimate love through the sacrifice of Christ for our salvation, from which we model our love to each other. He shows us His love daily through the people in our lives, and we likewise show His love to those around us. It keeps our faith strong and vibrant. Go forth dear friends, and let God's love show through you.
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