"Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners - of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display His unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on Him and receive eternal life." (1 Timothy 1:15-16)
Was Paul really the worst of sinners? I mean he had messed up pretty badly, but is there even such a thing as the worst of sinners? There isn't anywhere in the Bible that lists a hierarchy of sins. One isn't really worse than another. Some ensnare us and lead us to repetition, sinking deeper into our souls. Some involve others, and can tempt them into sin as well. But I don't think we can say that one person is a "worse" sinner than another. We all need God's grace and patience. And yet, how many times have I believed myself to be the worst sinner imaginable? More than I care to say.
I am stubborn. I struggle with depression and anxiety, and in my personality there is a stubbornness that feeds those illnesses until I am trapped by them. In my stubbornness, I often refuse to forgive myself. Being stubborn can be okay when you're holding to your convictions or pursuing your goals, but it's not as okay when you're holding to the belief that you have damaged something (maybe even yourself) beyond the point of repair. That kind of refusal to budge leads to hopelessness, and it is my greatest struggle. My nearsighted insistence that my past sins have left everything permanently ruined and that there is nothing to be done is a weakness in my faith, and it's one I need to work on. Our God created the world and gave it order, and then repaired it after it fell into sin, sending His Son to give us salvation and hope. It is quite simply ridiculous for us to think that He cannot unravel the tangled messes in our lives and build them back up for our good. He can. And He does. All we have to do is listen, and give Him space to work.
Don't convince yourself you are the worst sinner. Believe you have the best Savior.
Monday, August 3, 2015
Sunday, August 2, 2015
30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Ten
"Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." (Matthew 10:29-31)
As much as we love freedom and having choices, sometimes it's not as great it seems. For some people, like me, making decisions is really hard. I can be very decisive when I have to, but for the most part I avoid it at all costs. In order to make a decision you have to know what you want, which means you have to know yourself. Knowing yourself isn't always easy, particularly since healthy people tend to change at least somewhat as they go through life. One day you can think you have a good idea of who you are and what you want, and then suddenly you wake up and barely recognize yourself anymore. What's worse, you find yourself changing your mind about things, and feeling guilty for it. How can we know what's right when we don't even know who we are? In the end, all that matters is we follow God's path as best we can, and continue to witness His love to others in all that we do.
God knows you better than anyone, including yourself. He values you above all, even sending His Son to die for your salvation. He knows every hair on your head and all the things in your heart, and he loves you without end. Think of that. When I went to Concordia, I always made a point to attend chapel on Ash Wednesday. On those days in chapel the theology professors would all help to administer ashes and offer personal absolution. I remember the first time I went to that service, when I knelt down for absolution, the campus pastor laid his hand on my head and said my name. I hadn't spent much time with him, and I wasn't sure how he knew it, but for him to use my name and forgive me of my sins was a deeply emotional experience. It sounds strange to say, but that was one of the first times I truly understood how much God cares for me, personally. This pastor, who served thousands of students, knew my name and cared for me. How much more incredible it is that God, who is responsible for the whole world, knows and cares for me. I pray that you have had a moment like that, or that somehow in another way you can comprehend how deeply God knows you and cares for you.
Never forget that God doesn't just love the world. He loves you. He will never let you fall.
As much as we love freedom and having choices, sometimes it's not as great it seems. For some people, like me, making decisions is really hard. I can be very decisive when I have to, but for the most part I avoid it at all costs. In order to make a decision you have to know what you want, which means you have to know yourself. Knowing yourself isn't always easy, particularly since healthy people tend to change at least somewhat as they go through life. One day you can think you have a good idea of who you are and what you want, and then suddenly you wake up and barely recognize yourself anymore. What's worse, you find yourself changing your mind about things, and feeling guilty for it. How can we know what's right when we don't even know who we are? In the end, all that matters is we follow God's path as best we can, and continue to witness His love to others in all that we do.
God knows you better than anyone, including yourself. He values you above all, even sending His Son to die for your salvation. He knows every hair on your head and all the things in your heart, and he loves you without end. Think of that. When I went to Concordia, I always made a point to attend chapel on Ash Wednesday. On those days in chapel the theology professors would all help to administer ashes and offer personal absolution. I remember the first time I went to that service, when I knelt down for absolution, the campus pastor laid his hand on my head and said my name. I hadn't spent much time with him, and I wasn't sure how he knew it, but for him to use my name and forgive me of my sins was a deeply emotional experience. It sounds strange to say, but that was one of the first times I truly understood how much God cares for me, personally. This pastor, who served thousands of students, knew my name and cared for me. How much more incredible it is that God, who is responsible for the whole world, knows and cares for me. I pray that you have had a moment like that, or that somehow in another way you can comprehend how deeply God knows you and cares for you.
Never forget that God doesn't just love the world. He loves you. He will never let you fall.
Saturday, August 1, 2015
30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Nine
"I pray that out of His glorious riches [the Father] may strengthen you with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses all knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." (Ephesians 3:16-21)
What a beautiful thought! It's a longer passage, but it's all worth hearing. I've italicized a few portions that are especially striking. The love of Christ is so expansive that it is beyond comprehension. It "surpasses knowledge". You could spend a lifetime thinking about it and you would still be unable to fully understand how profoundly Christ loves you. Here's a start though: He died for you. He knew how sinful and hurtful and scornful you would be, and He wanted to save you. He endured pain that we cannot fathom. He told His disciples in the garden the night before His death, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death" (Mt26:38), and still he went willingly to the cross. He did all this out of the great love He has for us, knowing we have nothing but thanks to give in return. There have been psychology studies indicating that a sense of awe is good for our brains. It is good for us to take in a great landscape and know that we are part of it. In our case as Christians, I think it is good for us to take in the massive love of Christ and know that we are blessed.
Remember yesterday, when I wrote that we don't always need to know what to pray for in order to pray? I said that sometimes we cannot imagine what good can be done. Sometimes it's the opposite. We think we know what is best, because it seems the obvious next step, or it's something we really want. I'm a planner, and I have a good imagination. Often I ask for something, and get frustrated when it doesn't happen (I'm 99% sure we've all been there). Think about the last time that happened to you, or a particularly potent time that it happened. Now think about what happened next. I'm sure at some point in your life you haven't gotten what you asked God for, and instead He gave you something much better that you hadn't even considered. I know as well as anyone how hard it is to keep those examples in mind when we feel lost and disappointed that things aren't going how we want them to. But I encourage you to keep this verse and your unexpected blessing in mind. God is able to do immeasurably, exceedingly, abundantly more than we can imagine, no matter how good we think our imaginations are.
The next time you lose out on the best thing you can imagine, remember how much bigger God's imagination is. Let go, and let Him imagine a better way to show you his immeasurable love.
What a beautiful thought! It's a longer passage, but it's all worth hearing. I've italicized a few portions that are especially striking. The love of Christ is so expansive that it is beyond comprehension. It "surpasses knowledge". You could spend a lifetime thinking about it and you would still be unable to fully understand how profoundly Christ loves you. Here's a start though: He died for you. He knew how sinful and hurtful and scornful you would be, and He wanted to save you. He endured pain that we cannot fathom. He told His disciples in the garden the night before His death, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death" (Mt26:38), and still he went willingly to the cross. He did all this out of the great love He has for us, knowing we have nothing but thanks to give in return. There have been psychology studies indicating that a sense of awe is good for our brains. It is good for us to take in a great landscape and know that we are part of it. In our case as Christians, I think it is good for us to take in the massive love of Christ and know that we are blessed.
Remember yesterday, when I wrote that we don't always need to know what to pray for in order to pray? I said that sometimes we cannot imagine what good can be done. Sometimes it's the opposite. We think we know what is best, because it seems the obvious next step, or it's something we really want. I'm a planner, and I have a good imagination. Often I ask for something, and get frustrated when it doesn't happen (I'm 99% sure we've all been there). Think about the last time that happened to you, or a particularly potent time that it happened. Now think about what happened next. I'm sure at some point in your life you haven't gotten what you asked God for, and instead He gave you something much better that you hadn't even considered. I know as well as anyone how hard it is to keep those examples in mind when we feel lost and disappointed that things aren't going how we want them to. But I encourage you to keep this verse and your unexpected blessing in mind. God is able to do immeasurably, exceedingly, abundantly more than we can imagine, no matter how good we think our imaginations are.
The next time you lose out on the best thing you can imagine, remember how much bigger God's imagination is. Let go, and let Him imagine a better way to show you his immeasurable love.
Friday, July 31, 2015
30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Eight
"In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." (Romans 8:26)
Last night, for the third time this week, I was awake into the wee hours of the morning. I wish I could tell you that I was reading an exciting book or fully absorbed in a craft project, but I can't. I was just hurting. I was filled with the hurting and restlessness that often makes me lose sleep, and the worst part about these feelings is that I have absolutely no idea how to satisfy them. Many times in those terrifying and exhausting nights I lay aching from the fact that I cannot see a solution. Some things just have to hurt. Sometimes I cannot see around the bend. All I can do is pray.
But when I don't know what I want, how can I pray? It's hard to ask for relief when you have nothing to ask for besides relief. I want to tell God my troubles and ask for what I want, but I don't know what I want and some of my troubles are too deep for words. For these very reasons, the verse I've put up today is one of my very favorite verses in the Bible. It reminds us that God knows us inside and out. He sees every corner of our hearts, even the ones we hide from everyone else, and even the ones we try to hide from Him. So even when I couldn't possibly begin to explain the hurt to anyone else, I don't need to explain it to God.
I remember watching Anne of Green Gables as a child, and laughing when Anne prays for the first time. Anne explains to Marilla that she has never prayed, and she always imagined that if she were going to, she would stand out in a vast field and "just feel a prayer". Marilla, in her best no-nonsense voice, informs Anne that she must say a bedtime prayer, and in response Anne speaks a prayer that sounds very much like a business letter. For all the good intentions of Marilla, I think Anne had a point. Sometimes we don't need to say it all out loud. It is okay to feel a prayer, and sometimes it is necessary. The God of our salvation, who knows our heart and loves us immeasurably, hears even the requests we cannot find the words for. He delights in our conversations, even if they don't seem much like conversations to us.
Remember that God hears the prayers we do not even speak, and works for our good even when we can't imagine what good can be done.
Last night, for the third time this week, I was awake into the wee hours of the morning. I wish I could tell you that I was reading an exciting book or fully absorbed in a craft project, but I can't. I was just hurting. I was filled with the hurting and restlessness that often makes me lose sleep, and the worst part about these feelings is that I have absolutely no idea how to satisfy them. Many times in those terrifying and exhausting nights I lay aching from the fact that I cannot see a solution. Some things just have to hurt. Sometimes I cannot see around the bend. All I can do is pray.
But when I don't know what I want, how can I pray? It's hard to ask for relief when you have nothing to ask for besides relief. I want to tell God my troubles and ask for what I want, but I don't know what I want and some of my troubles are too deep for words. For these very reasons, the verse I've put up today is one of my very favorite verses in the Bible. It reminds us that God knows us inside and out. He sees every corner of our hearts, even the ones we hide from everyone else, and even the ones we try to hide from Him. So even when I couldn't possibly begin to explain the hurt to anyone else, I don't need to explain it to God.
I remember watching Anne of Green Gables as a child, and laughing when Anne prays for the first time. Anne explains to Marilla that she has never prayed, and she always imagined that if she were going to, she would stand out in a vast field and "just feel a prayer". Marilla, in her best no-nonsense voice, informs Anne that she must say a bedtime prayer, and in response Anne speaks a prayer that sounds very much like a business letter. For all the good intentions of Marilla, I think Anne had a point. Sometimes we don't need to say it all out loud. It is okay to feel a prayer, and sometimes it is necessary. The God of our salvation, who knows our heart and loves us immeasurably, hears even the requests we cannot find the words for. He delights in our conversations, even if they don't seem much like conversations to us.
Remember that God hears the prayers we do not even speak, and works for our good even when we can't imagine what good can be done.
Thursday, July 30, 2015
30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Seven
"This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and His love is made complete in us." (1 John 4:10-12)
What is love? There are 2.5 pages of my Bible's concordance that tell me what God says it is. I've read so many of these passages, from the famous (1 Corinthians 13, anyone?) to the less known. Even this passage is less often talked about than the verse just a few lines away, "There is no fear in love" (1J4:18). I have often turned to the Bible, desperately seeking advice on how to love. Because believe me, I'm no expert, and if you don't believe me you can ask the last three hearts that I've let down with my broken human version of love.
Why is it so hard to get it right? We're Christians! We should have this down! If God is love, and we follow God, then we should be good at love...right?
Wrong. For several reasons.
First, contrary to popular belief, being Christians doesn't mean we don't sin. It just means we know what is a sin, and we ask for forgiveness and receive God's grace. Second, we live in a world that has so many twisted ideas about love and relationships, and those ideas have saturated our lives so completely that it's painfully difficult to separate ourselves from them. The third and possibly the most damaging reason is that even our well-meaning Christian friends and leaders sometimes contribute to some pretty messed-up ideas about what love really is.
This morning I re-read an article I had posted a long time ago from a blogger named Hannah. The article, called My husband is not my soulmate, has a line that hit me like a ton of bricks: "God’s plan is for us to be made more holy, more like Christ… not marry a certain person." (I'd encourage you to read it all if you have time.)
Well that's different. How many times have you heard the well-meant encouragement that the right person is waiting, being prepared by God and set aside just for you? Frankly, that's not what God has promised. Would our Heavenly Father willfully allow so much pain in our lives if he was strictly planning every step of the way? No my friends. His will is always for our good, but God is not a dictator, and He gives us our own choices in our daily lives. We don't always make the right choices - such is the product of sin. Nevertheless, we choose our path, with the struggles of sin and the grace of God. As my fellow blogger said, God's plan is to give us salvation and love, and bring us closer to Him. He blesses us in so many ways, but they are not set in stone. You are not destined to have a certain job, live in a certain place, have a certain pet, or even marry a certain person. You are called to live in God's Word and bring His love to others. To say that things did or did not work out with someone because it "was[n't] meant to be" is our own determination, not God's, because all that really matters between two people is that they love each other with a love that imitates God's love for us. When we love like that, God's plan is made complete. Not the other way around.
Love is important. The Bible wouldn't talk about it so much if that wasn't true. Love also isn't easy, but it is worth it, and it is God's will for us to be loved (not always in romance, by the way). He showed us His ultimate love through the sacrifice of Christ for our salvation, from which we model our love to each other. He shows us His love daily through the people in our lives, and we likewise show His love to those around us. It keeps our faith strong and vibrant. Go forth dear friends, and let God's love show through you.
What is love? There are 2.5 pages of my Bible's concordance that tell me what God says it is. I've read so many of these passages, from the famous (1 Corinthians 13, anyone?) to the less known. Even this passage is less often talked about than the verse just a few lines away, "There is no fear in love" (1J4:18). I have often turned to the Bible, desperately seeking advice on how to love. Because believe me, I'm no expert, and if you don't believe me you can ask the last three hearts that I've let down with my broken human version of love.
Why is it so hard to get it right? We're Christians! We should have this down! If God is love, and we follow God, then we should be good at love...right?
Wrong. For several reasons.
First, contrary to popular belief, being Christians doesn't mean we don't sin. It just means we know what is a sin, and we ask for forgiveness and receive God's grace. Second, we live in a world that has so many twisted ideas about love and relationships, and those ideas have saturated our lives so completely that it's painfully difficult to separate ourselves from them. The third and possibly the most damaging reason is that even our well-meaning Christian friends and leaders sometimes contribute to some pretty messed-up ideas about what love really is.
This morning I re-read an article I had posted a long time ago from a blogger named Hannah. The article, called My husband is not my soulmate, has a line that hit me like a ton of bricks: "God’s plan is for us to be made more holy, more like Christ… not marry a certain person." (I'd encourage you to read it all if you have time.)
Well that's different. How many times have you heard the well-meant encouragement that the right person is waiting, being prepared by God and set aside just for you? Frankly, that's not what God has promised. Would our Heavenly Father willfully allow so much pain in our lives if he was strictly planning every step of the way? No my friends. His will is always for our good, but God is not a dictator, and He gives us our own choices in our daily lives. We don't always make the right choices - such is the product of sin. Nevertheless, we choose our path, with the struggles of sin and the grace of God. As my fellow blogger said, God's plan is to give us salvation and love, and bring us closer to Him. He blesses us in so many ways, but they are not set in stone. You are not destined to have a certain job, live in a certain place, have a certain pet, or even marry a certain person. You are called to live in God's Word and bring His love to others. To say that things did or did not work out with someone because it "was[n't] meant to be" is our own determination, not God's, because all that really matters between two people is that they love each other with a love that imitates God's love for us. When we love like that, God's plan is made complete. Not the other way around.
Love is important. The Bible wouldn't talk about it so much if that wasn't true. Love also isn't easy, but it is worth it, and it is God's will for us to be loved (not always in romance, by the way). He showed us His ultimate love through the sacrifice of Christ for our salvation, from which we model our love to each other. He shows us His love daily through the people in our lives, and we likewise show His love to those around us. It keeps our faith strong and vibrant. Go forth dear friends, and let God's love show through you.
Wednesday, July 29, 2015
30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Six
"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." (Colossians 3:12-14)
I think all of us, at some time, have heard a well-meaning loved one tell us that we need to toughen up and look out for ourselves or we're going to get hurt. It's a concept that runs deep in our world today. An eye for an eye. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. All that glitters isn't gold. In this get-ahead culture, we feel as though we need a thick skin to survive. Forgiveness is hard to come by. And this attitude doesn't just dictate how we deal with the people "out there". It creeps into our closest relationships. Half of the love advice I've heard urges me to only give so many chances, and try not to let anyone get too close. You never know who you can really trust. In all honesty, it's true. The world is twisted by sin, and we humans are experts at hitting each other where it hurts.
Given the events of the past couple months, it is more tempting than ever for me to buy into this bitterness. I am a passionately emotional person. My natural tendency is to show compassion and kindness. I love deeply and trust without question. When people take advantage of that it hurts, but I usually recover quickly. Then recently, for the first time in my life, one of the people closest to my heart exhibited astounding callousness. Recovery has been slow, and agonizing. Sometimes it seems like becoming cold and remote is the only way I'll survive, but then I realize that behavior is what hurt me in the first place. They bought into the idea that being distant is the smart thing to do, and people need to be a certain way to earn your love. This is not God's way. God tells us to be humble. He tells us to be patient with each other. He fills our stores with His own love when we feel like we have no more to give. Most importantly, God tells us to forgive as we have been forgiven. Think of all the times you have failed God. Think of the grace and salvation that is still limitlessly given to you. No matter how much grace I show to others, it will never amount to the grace I've been shown by my Heavenly Father.
Let God's forgiveness and love be an example in your own life. Don't let your pain become your sword and armour, let it become your witness.
I think all of us, at some time, have heard a well-meaning loved one tell us that we need to toughen up and look out for ourselves or we're going to get hurt. It's a concept that runs deep in our world today. An eye for an eye. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. All that glitters isn't gold. In this get-ahead culture, we feel as though we need a thick skin to survive. Forgiveness is hard to come by. And this attitude doesn't just dictate how we deal with the people "out there". It creeps into our closest relationships. Half of the love advice I've heard urges me to only give so many chances, and try not to let anyone get too close. You never know who you can really trust. In all honesty, it's true. The world is twisted by sin, and we humans are experts at hitting each other where it hurts.
Given the events of the past couple months, it is more tempting than ever for me to buy into this bitterness. I am a passionately emotional person. My natural tendency is to show compassion and kindness. I love deeply and trust without question. When people take advantage of that it hurts, but I usually recover quickly. Then recently, for the first time in my life, one of the people closest to my heart exhibited astounding callousness. Recovery has been slow, and agonizing. Sometimes it seems like becoming cold and remote is the only way I'll survive, but then I realize that behavior is what hurt me in the first place. They bought into the idea that being distant is the smart thing to do, and people need to be a certain way to earn your love. This is not God's way. God tells us to be humble. He tells us to be patient with each other. He fills our stores with His own love when we feel like we have no more to give. Most importantly, God tells us to forgive as we have been forgiven. Think of all the times you have failed God. Think of the grace and salvation that is still limitlessly given to you. No matter how much grace I show to others, it will never amount to the grace I've been shown by my Heavenly Father.
Let God's forgiveness and love be an example in your own life. Don't let your pain become your sword and armour, let it become your witness.
Tuesday, July 28, 2015
30 Days of Bite-Sized Faith: Five
"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy." (1 Peter 2:9-10)
Today I had a discussion about the fact that we, as a society, seem to be obsessed with labels. We have words now for every walk of life, physical condition, interest group, etc. Now is not the time for me to really get into how I feel about this labeling obsession, but when today's discussion turned to why we feel the need to categorize every condition, my take was this: "I think everyone wants to feel like they belong somewhere."
There isn't much that makes me stand out. I'm a pretty average young girl, studying for a pretty unremarkable Master's degree, and I'll soon be working a fairly normal job. I don't get out with friendsmuch ever. I don't have great talents or incredible passions. I don't want to change the world. Sometimes I feel a little lost, or maybe even invisible. But no matter what, God sees me. I'm still a part of His chosen people. He knows my name and hears my prayers. In a world that expects me to make my mark, I am already marked for salvation. I am a witness to the grace and love of God with my own actions. I don't need to be surrounded by people just like me, or find some way to identify myself. I am complex, and I don't fit into a category like the world expects me to, because this place isn't where my story ends. I am here, and there are times I feel like I belong here, but this is not my home. Someday I will be with my Savior, and I'll know what it's like to never feel the restlessness of searching for my place.
Whenever you feel out of place, remember that you always belong in God's arms.
Today I had a discussion about the fact that we, as a society, seem to be obsessed with labels. We have words now for every walk of life, physical condition, interest group, etc. Now is not the time for me to really get into how I feel about this labeling obsession, but when today's discussion turned to why we feel the need to categorize every condition, my take was this: "I think everyone wants to feel like they belong somewhere."
There isn't much that makes me stand out. I'm a pretty average young girl, studying for a pretty unremarkable Master's degree, and I'll soon be working a fairly normal job. I don't get out with friends
Whenever you feel out of place, remember that you always belong in God's arms.
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