"The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.'" (Genesis 2:18)
I've hinted before at my feelings regarding the cultural obsession with independence. It's time for me to really dig in. As a brief summary: It makes me uncomfortable. In fact, I should probably just be honest and say it makes me really angry. Trying to be self-sufficient and not trusting or relying on anyone is not healthy, and it's not the way God intended us to live. We need people. We need family, friends, and co-workers. Many (most?) of us need spouses eventually. Need. Not want, not "might be nice", not "maybe someday when I get my own stuff figured out". Being a responsible, interesting, proactive member of society is important, but somewhere along the line we decided that getting too close to people reduces our ability to accomplish those goals. It's almost like we think that if we care too much about others we won't be able to care for ourselves. Now, I'm not saying that's never true. Sometimes people (even me) can become so wrapped up in being there for other people that they forget to spend some time on taking care of themselves. But technically, if we're fostering close relationships, there should also be people in our lives who take care of us and remind us that we're worth taking care of. This is not a perfect world, and relationships don't always work like they should, but setting an example of love and caring in your own actions is the best way to ensure that love and caring will be returned.
Think for a minute about the circumstances surrounding the verse above. God has created a vast world filled with plants, animals, and one man. The man had plenty to do, tending the rest of the flora and fauna and such. Maybe he could have managed it, and he would have grown strong and responsible and powerful. In those days God even dwelled in the garden, and would have been company for the man sometimes. But God in His wisdom did not want him to ever be alone, and He created a helper to be there for him and support him. Knowing all this, why would we insist that today we should do it all ourselves? We live in a world full of sin, where we face heartache and stress in our everyday lives. We are given relief through the people God places in our lives to help and comfort us. They are one of the most powerful, visible, tangible ways God shows us His love. I have always believed that the best way to learn is through experience. God wants to teach us grace and love, and our relationships are the best way to learn.
Most of this last year I lived alone. And even though I saw friends every once in a while, went to work (sometimes more than one place in a day), and was in a relationship with someone I got to see occasionally, I was lonely. Unfortunately, I allowed myself to feel guilty about being lonely, which only made it worse. I believed the world when it told me that I should be happy in my independence. If you take anything from today's post, let it be this: Never feel guilty for desiring the love and company of others. You were created to feel that way. God is always there, always listening, and always loving you, but the people in your life are the earthly ways He satisfies your need for love and companionship. Treasure them, and make sure they know that it's okay to need you, and you will be there.
Don't be afraid of depending on others, as well as God. You don't have to do this life thing alone.
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